Tuesday, 26 May 2015

Part 10: Striving

I haven't posted one of these in a long time. I think that's because I wanted to wait until I had something substantial to say... I'm finally at a point now where I'm feeling okay about everything. My life certainly isn't perfect, but I know what I want and I know what I need to do to get there! Since my last update, I have been through a lot of horrible things, but now I know how to recover and move on. I'm not going to let anything stop me. I'm going to strive, and eventually thrive! If I keep slowly working on myself and on everything I want to accomplish, I think that in a year my life will be great, just how my life is a lot better than it was a year ago (although still not perfect). The only thing stopping me now is myself.

During what was one of the worst periods of my life, this past year, I came up with the idea of The Stigma Collection. The Stigma Collection is going to be my first clothing collection. It's a combination of two things I'm very passionate about, fashion and mental health. It's a way for me to express what mental illness feels like, and hopefully help to end the stigma against mental illness. If you like this idea and want to see more, please check out my Go Fund Me below, and donate if you can! I'm very happy and excited about this!

I am a little intimidated by how much work the collection is going to entail, but I think it will be super fun and teach me a ton of things along the way. It's definitely going to help me improve my sewing skills, but I'm totally up to the challenge. I have a dress form and I'm going to learn to make my own patterns, and it's going to be great. I'm going to learn about fabrics, and how to make t-shirts, I can't wait! Once I feel ready, I do plan to open up an online store! It has been a dream of mine for a long time to have my own business.

Since I've started "my journey", this one I've worked on a lot, MAKEUP! I'm pretty confident with my makeup skills now. I didn't know squat when I started. I wore such weird makeup, I used products the wrong way. For a long time I didn't even wear makeup. But I think I have always loved makeup and beauty. I started wearing makeup in elementary school. I know that might scare some people, but it was just fun. I loved eye shadow and lipstick. I have always loved dark lipsticks. Still do! Now I just feel pretty confident about a lot of the products out there, and many different techniques. I can do many different styles. I'm still not a professional, and I don't have tons of money to buy new products, but I feel like I've done pretty well using what I have, doing what I can.

There's one more goal I'm working on, modelling! I've researched agencies in my area and I'm hoping to land a job before my next birthday. As for now, I'm still working on my portfolio. They want pictures with no makeup, for example. I'm working on things like my facial expressions, posing, makeup, and photography skills while working on this portfolio too. I'm going to try to get as much practice as I can! One thing I'm nervous about is what if I got a modelling job but then I'm too nervous? So I also need to work on my social skills as well. I do have social anxiety, but like anything else, social skills is a skill you can work on through practice. I'm sure as hell not going to let that stop me from accomplishing my dreams!

So overall, these are all the things I want to accomplish within the next year or so, and I've got everything planned out and I'm ready to go. Sorry if it was a little all over the place, I just have a lot of things I'm working on. Anyway, wish me luck! I'm going to work my ass off, but a little luck and moral support never hurts :)


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